[Panic strikes her yet again at the sight of Ashe closing her eyes for a moment that lasts far longer than it has any right to, but then she opens them again and Satya feels a little less like she’s about to have a panic attack. She is so focused on looking at her wife for as long as she still can that she fails to notice how the right side of her thorax isn’t moving, or how her chest never expands the way it should.
Satya’s hand trembles as she keeps Ashe’s in place. Those words are nowhere near comforting-- hearing her wife admit she messed up and apologize only a few seconds apart is enough, by itself, to tell her how bad Ashe’s health really is-- and they are made significantly worse by the fact that Ashe is already looking unnaturally pale. She tries to speak only to find out that she can’t, tears running down her blood-stained cheeks, but Satya shakes her head ‘no’ over and over again, refusing to believe this is really happening. If only there was something she could do to help, anything…
It strikes her all of a sudden: she may not be able to directly help save Ashe’s life, but there is a possibility she may improve her chances of survival upon arriving to the hospital. Caressing Ashe’s face one more time before pulling that hand away, she reaches for her phone, her shaky hands making it very hard to pull up the contact list. But she manages to do so: she finds the exact number she wants, and when her friend picks up, asking her how she is doing, Satya wastes no time with pleasantries.]
Elizabeth was shot in the thorax. B.O.B. is driving us to the hospital and our estimated time of arrival is within five minutes. Her blood type is AB- and mine is O-, neither of us have any health issues or are taking any kind of medication, and I volunteer to donate directly to her should she need it, and-- [Her friend interrupts her and tells her to breathe, but Satya doesn’t want to waste any time trying to get herself together, not when she needs to get the message across as soon as possible. She speaks so quickly and eerily calmly that her voice sounds almost robotic-- or would sound robotic if it weren’t for how breathless she is, or how thick her voice is with unshed tears that are just about to fall. She hears the doctor give out orders, and then his voice softens as he asks her And you? Are you hurt? in Hindi, and.
Satya finally breaks.]
I am terrified. She is all I have, B., I cannot lose her, [she replies in their native language, her sobs shaking her entire frame. She brings Ashe’s hand to her mouth so she can kiss her palm, and tries to ignore both how cold it is and how it tastes like blood.] She has lost so much blood, she is wheezing, she is paler than ever and I do not know what to do. I-- [She swallows hard.] I will bleed myself dry to save her if I have to.
[Her friend tells her there is no need for such methods, but by then, Satya isn’t listening anymore: she has already settled her phone by her side and is reaching down again to caress Ashe’s cheeks and hair, her hand wandering in her urgency to commit every touch to memory. She tries to smile for Ashe’s sake, she really does, but she can’t pretend, not when her world-- their world-- is falling apart.]
I cannot lose you. Not like this, not this soon.
[Desperate and afraid, Satya decides to try something else: a last resort, something she hasn’t done since she was a child. For the first time since her mother’s illness, Satya Vaswani turns to the gods and goddesses for help.]
Don’t let her die, please don’t let her die, [she begs, looking up as if that would make a miracle happen, but it doesn't. Her voice cracks when she speaks again, and she looks down at her wife when she continues speaking.] Don’t take my love away from me...
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-05-24 03:59 am (UTC)Satya’s hand trembles as she keeps Ashe’s in place. Those words are nowhere near comforting-- hearing her wife admit she messed up and apologize only a few seconds apart is enough, by itself, to tell her how bad Ashe’s health really is-- and they are made significantly worse by the fact that Ashe is already looking unnaturally pale. She tries to speak only to find out that she can’t, tears running down her blood-stained cheeks, but Satya shakes her head ‘no’ over and over again, refusing to believe this is really happening. If only there was something she could do to help, anything…
It strikes her all of a sudden: she may not be able to directly help save Ashe’s life, but there is a possibility she may improve her chances of survival upon arriving to the hospital. Caressing Ashe’s face one more time before pulling that hand away, she reaches for her phone, her shaky hands making it very hard to pull up the contact list. But she manages to do so: she finds the exact number she wants, and when her friend picks up, asking her how she is doing, Satya wastes no time with pleasantries.]
Elizabeth was shot in the thorax. B.O.B. is driving us to the hospital and our estimated time of arrival is within five minutes. Her blood type is AB- and mine is O-, neither of us have any health issues or are taking any kind of medication, and I volunteer to donate directly to her should she need it, and-- [Her friend interrupts her and tells her to breathe, but Satya doesn’t want to waste any time trying to get herself together, not when she needs to get the message across as soon as possible. She speaks so quickly and eerily calmly that her voice sounds almost robotic-- or would sound robotic if it weren’t for how breathless she is, or how thick her voice is with unshed tears that are just about to fall. She hears the doctor give out orders, and then his voice softens as he asks her And you? Are you hurt? in Hindi, and.
Satya finally breaks.]
I am terrified. She is all I have, B., I cannot lose her, [she replies in their native language, her sobs shaking her entire frame. She brings Ashe’s hand to her mouth so she can kiss her palm, and tries to ignore both how cold it is and how it tastes like blood.] She has lost so much blood, she is wheezing, she is paler than ever and I do not know what to do. I-- [She swallows hard.] I will bleed myself dry to save her if I have to.
[Her friend tells her there is no need for such methods, but by then, Satya isn’t listening anymore: she has already settled her phone by her side and is reaching down again to caress Ashe’s cheeks and hair, her hand wandering in her urgency to commit every touch to memory. She tries to smile for Ashe’s sake, she really does, but she can’t pretend, not when her world-- their world-- is falling apart.]
I cannot lose you. Not like this, not this soon.
[Desperate and afraid, Satya decides to try something else: a last resort, something she hasn’t done since she was a child. For the first time since her mother’s illness, Satya Vaswani turns to the gods and goddesses for help.]
Don’t let her die, please don’t let her die, [she begs, looking up as if that would make a miracle happen, but it doesn't. Her voice cracks when she speaks again, and she looks down at her wife when she continues speaking.] Don’t take my love away from me...