[ Crying this hard brings on a whole new pain; a burning in her chest to the point that she can’t differentiate what is physical and what’s emotional. When Satya doesn’t say anything; when she just stands there, Ashe almost releases her hand, the need to wrap her arms around herself overwhelming her. A futile coping mechanism to attempt to hold herself together as she fell apart.
However, after those shallow breaths she took, Satya finally speaks. Ashe lifts her head, confused and bewildered as her wife reaches for her. She whimpers as she touches her cheeks, her chest, almost seeming frantic in her search for… whatever it is she’s searching for on her person. Trying to find her voice and ask her, she can’t even get the word what out before Satya is pulling her into her arms.
Ashe’s response is immediate. She wraps her arms tightly around Satya; which is saying something, but not a lot for just how much strength the gunslinger lost after being debilitated for the better part of the month. Still, her fingers curl into the fabric at Satya’s back, clinging eagerly, desperately as though she might vanish if she didn’t hold on. Trying to catch her breath amidst her own sobs, she can still hear her wife sobbing against her; and feel the way her body shakes against her. The heart wrenching sound of her voice cracking and then trailing off into more sobs.
More than anything right now, she wants to comfort her, but she can’t stop crying herself. And she can’t breathe well enough to say something. Instead, she just let’s go and allows herself to cry as well, content enough to finally be in Satya’s arms again. The back and forth motion is strangely comforting and she makes no effort to stop it.
A few more minutes pass before Ashe finally quiets down, partially out of the effort and need to say something, partially out of exhaustion and the need to breathe. Gently nuzzling her face into Satya’s neck, she’s still breathless as she speaks, but at least she can talk. ]
I just wanted to move past it, but... I only ended up hurtin' you in the process.
[ She sniffles again, reluctantly pulling back from Satya to wipe the tears from her cheeks, exhaling shakily. Okay. She’s fine, she’s got this. She looks at Satya, taking her face into her hands and gently brushing the tears from her face with her thumbs. Brow furrowing, she blinks back a few more tears as she leans forward to press a kiss to the curve her nose. ]
I’m sorry…
[ Her voice is a whisper and then she pauses a beat to fight back another wave of emotion. It's surreal to feel the warmth of her, to see the color in her cheeks and to hear sound of her breathing after such a jarring, realistic nightmare. She keeps her lips pressed in the space between her eyebrows, her eyes closing. ]
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-06-04 01:50 am (UTC)However, after those shallow breaths she took, Satya finally speaks. Ashe lifts her head, confused and bewildered as her wife reaches for her. She whimpers as she touches her cheeks, her chest, almost seeming frantic in her search for… whatever it is she’s searching for on her person. Trying to find her voice and ask her, she can’t even get the word what out before Satya is pulling her into her arms.
Ashe’s response is immediate. She wraps her arms tightly around Satya; which is saying something, but not a lot for just how much strength the gunslinger lost after being debilitated for the better part of the month. Still, her fingers curl into the fabric at Satya’s back, clinging eagerly, desperately as though she might vanish if she didn’t hold on. Trying to catch her breath amidst her own sobs, she can still hear her wife sobbing against her; and feel the way her body shakes against her. The heart wrenching sound of her voice cracking and then trailing off into more sobs.
More than anything right now, she wants to comfort her, but she can’t stop crying herself. And she can’t breathe well enough to say something. Instead, she just let’s go and allows herself to cry as well, content enough to finally be in Satya’s arms again. The back and forth motion is strangely comforting and she makes no effort to stop it.
A few more minutes pass before Ashe finally quiets down, partially out of the effort and need to say something, partially out of exhaustion and the need to breathe. Gently nuzzling her face into Satya’s neck, she’s still breathless as she speaks, but at least she can talk. ]
I just wanted to move past it, but... I only ended up hurtin' you in the process.
[ She sniffles again, reluctantly pulling back from Satya to wipe the tears from her cheeks, exhaling shakily. Okay. She’s fine, she’s got this. She looks at Satya, taking her face into her hands and gently brushing the tears from her face with her thumbs. Brow furrowing, she blinks back a few more tears as she leans forward to press a kiss to the curve her nose. ]
I’m sorry…
[ Her voice is a whisper and then she pauses a beat to fight back another wave of emotion. It's surreal to feel the warmth of her, to see the color in her cheeks and to hear sound of her breathing after such a jarring, realistic nightmare. She keeps her lips pressed in the space between her eyebrows, her eyes closing. ]
I’m so sorry. Please... please forgive me.