little_box_of_horrors | I kissed a girl and I liked it.

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

(( PSL for

realitybendstomywill ))

[ Ashe steps out onto the front porch of her small county house, taking in a deep breath of the warm, desert air. It feels so good to be free from the shackles of her illness. After two and a half weeks of pain, misery and recuperating, she wanted to go out and do something that wasn’t lying in bed or being limited to the rooms in her house. Symmetra was leaving within the next day or two and she also felt the need to express her gratitude.

Because… yanno. Ashe wasn’t a pleasant person when she was sick and she knew that all too well. Not that they hadn’t reached an understanding and gotten through that initial unpleasantness, but still.

The day before, she’d suggested that they go into town in the evening for a girl’s night out. Ashe never really had a lot of girl friends in the past and had silently always wondered what it’d be like. She assumed it was a lot different than the loud and rowdy times she had with her boys; which was fine and dandy enough, but sometimes? Getting dressed up just for the sake of it (and maybe for the sake of turning a few heads) sounded like a much better time to her. A different thrill from the bar fights, gambling and alcohol induced shenanigans.

Waiting for the other woman to finish getting ready, she drops her purse on the first step and then turns to take a seat on the porch swing, settling against the back and looking out at the quiet desert before her. She smooths out the soft fabric of the yellow dress she wore and then reaches to adjust the light brown fringe that exposed her shoulders and hung just low enough for a tasteful amount of cleavage. Her normally straight hair held soft curls that framed her face, the longer side lightly bouncing over her shoulder as the breeze blew through the porch. The belt that hugs her slim waist is the same light brown as the fringe, the buckle in the shape of a flower and adorned with turquoise stones. She’d chosen some strappy sandals instead of heels; being that she was still in the process of recovering, she hadn’t wanted to push herself too much. Plus, it was such a nice day for a light and flowy garment. Hell, it was the first time she’d worn a dress in a long while.

Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes, content to enjoy the wind on her face and the calm silence that only someone who lives out in the middle of absolute nowhere could grow accustomed to. ]

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[ Ashe idly chews on her bottom lip as she reads Satya’s next messages. The last one in particular makes her think a little harder. In fact, she scrolls back through those messages from last night (as much as it pains her to do so), to really consider everything she said. There's a lot of compliments and just overall fondness that she's not sure were entirely subconscious.

Then she scrolls back down to Satya’s most recent message: I meant everything I told you last night. Did you?

Well. She’d be a damn liar if she said no.

She breathes a soft chuckle, dropping her phone and running her hands up her face and then through her hair. Good lord above what is she even doing? She snatches her phone up again and moves to lie down on her pillow, crossing one leg over the other. ]

Yep. Every word.

Edited 2019-04-14 17:56 (UTC)

[The moment she presses send and asks Ashe if she also meant everything she said last night, Satya starts to regret everything, and is absolutely certain that this time she really messed up. Why did she even ask? Of course Ashe didn't mean most-- if not all-- of those things: she was drunk, and drunk people say silly things with no intention of being truthful. There's nothing else to it. She didn't mean it when she called her special, or when she called her pretty, or when she complimented her smile, or when she said it was nice to hear her voice...

She looks at her phone and realizes that her message has been read but not replied to, and after staring intensely at the screen for a full three minutes, Satya decides that she should just put it down and not make herself suffer any more than she has to. She sighs, rubbing at her eyes with her hands, and stays like that for a while, wondering what she should have done instead. Can their friendship be salvaged, or is it over? Not feeling uncomfortable with having woken up together after a night spent drinking is not the same as admitting to words that are downright affectionate. Symmetra read too much into it, as usual; she is so lonely that her mind took her to places it most definitely shouldn’t, and she really should have known better.

She glances down at the screen, frowning in concern. Five minutes have passed since she made that question and still no reply. Perhaps Ashe fell asleep, or her phone ran out of battery, or something else came up and she can’t reply right now…

Or maybe she just regrets everything she has told her and is trying to let her down gently, to give her a hint before she says I didn’t mean anything I said loud and clear.

Satya is thinking that maybe she should send her another text, something like I apologize, I shouldn’t have asked that, when the phone finally pings and she jumps, not expecting that to happen. She braces herself and grabs the phone, anticipating a rejection… and what she reads instead makes relief crash over her, strongly enough that she slumps back against the couch. And then she laughs, loud and almost with an edge of mania to it, before she finds the courage to reply.]

I’m glad.

[She bites her lip. There is something she didn’t say last night-- or this morning, to be accurate- but that she wanted to say. Something she held back because the need to ask why? was far greater and more important at the time. She hesitates before finally sending it.]

I miss you, too.

[ It’s surprising, really. Surprising how those four simple words could fill a girl’s chest with so much warmth. Surprising how much they brought a small, but genuine smile to her face. How they made heart pound in her chest for a good couple of minutes; that took a little more thought as she tried to ascertain the meaning behind it.

Satya really was a lovely woman. With a nice smile. Witty. Intelligent. Creative. Beautiful. Warm…

She closes her eyes for a moment. What the hell is she thinking? Women were fine. Great, even. It’s not that; it’s that she’s never really thought that way about anyone other than a man in her entire life. Not in the way that she’s thinking about Satya right now, that is.

Exhaling slowly, she lifts her phone from where she’d been clutching it against her chest, chiding herself for her own damn emotions. However, she can’t rightly deny them either. So… what the hell? What’s the worst that could happen? Nothing could come of it and they could still be friends. That’d been the primary goal to begin with. Play it cool. Feel it out. ]

Yeah?

That’s good to hear. We had some fun when I wasn’t hacking up a lung, didn’t we?

You know… A couple of times last week when I'd just woken up, I caught myself speaking up to ask you something. Guess I got too used to having you around. B.O.B. was a good sport and answered for you, though. Think it confused him a little.

[Just like what happened when she sent the message asking if Ashe had meant what she said, Satya regrets everything she has done all over again after sending her I miss you, too. She places her phone carefully next to her as if defusing a bomb-- which is a rather suitable metaphor, given that she feels as if the world itself is about to implode at any given moment-- and wonders if Ashe will even reply, because she’s taking her sweet time again and… oh, that sure is her phone pinging with a new message. Satya holds her breath and picks it up, opening the text message window immediately.

That’s good to hear, Ashe says, and Satya lets out a breathless little laugh all over again.]

We certainly did.

[This is good. This is fine, absolutely fine, and she is having no trouble whatsoever trying to make sense of what she feels at the moment. She is in perfect control of her own emotions, and she is not going to let her mind-- or her heart-- dive into chaos. She is Satya Vaswani, she is Symmetra, and she is in absolute control of what she’s feeling.

And then Ashe says she has caught herself speaking to Satya upon waking up, and she gasps quietly as she reads those words, a delirious little smile forming on her lips. Oh. That is-- oh, Gods. Does Ashe not realize how absolutely endearing-- and dangerous-- that is?

The warmth currently flooding her chest does not bode well for anyone involved.]

I see only two possible solutions for this situation. You either upgrade B.O.B.’s programming to replicate my speech patterns, or you make a voice call the next time you need to ask me something upon waking up.

[ Holding her phone to her chest again, Ashe had been in the process of starting to doze off, relieved that Satya hadn’t been offended. And, well… they could talk again. Granted, it was probably a little silly that she hadn’t contacted her earlier, wasn’t it? Shying away and skirting around the point wasn’t usually how she preferred to do things.

It’s fine, though. Everything’s fine.

Pulled from her thoughts by the buzz of her phone against her sternum, she inhales deeply, opening her eyes as she lifts her phone to check those next two messages. Hah. ]

Hey, B.O.B.? [ She pauses, listening as the large Omnic man tromps to her room and pokes his head in. ] How’d you like to have Symmetra’s voice?

[ The Omnic audibly blinks, tilting his head in confusion. Why would he…? Huh? ]

Just on account of you likin' her so much.

[ B.O.B. stares at Ashe; possibly judging her silently, but it's difficult to tell with an Omnic. He slowly shakes his head and leaves. Ashe chuckles softly and returns her attention to her phone. ]

B.O.B. didn’t seem to like that idea too much.

Guess I’ll just have to take you up on your offer.

[ What a shame. ]

[Is she going to stop feeling giddy anytime soon? Satya doesn’t think so, but that’s okay. She has plenty of reasons to feel the way she is feeling, after all: not only did her friend not feel uncomfortable with what happened the last time they were together, she also meant everything she said when she was drunk, and admitted that she has woken up wanting to talk to her-- more than once-- during the past week.

Indeed, she has plenty of reasons to feel very happy right now.

She laughs at Ashe’s next messages, imagining her asking B.O.B. how he felt about emulating her friend. But her smile quickly turns from amused to warm, and Satya looks fondly at her phone, as if she could see the other woman through it.]

I suppose you will.

[She presses the voice call button. Might as well start now, right?]

[ Oh. She's calling now. Oh. Huh. Well- She looks like absolute hell, but she supposes that Satya has already seen her at her lowest. She turns over onto her stomach and accepts the call.

She looks positively exhausted; her hair unkempt from sleep. Dark circles under her eyes from that late night and her current hangover. Yeah. She's a mess, but she figures it's to be expected at this point.

Holding her phone in one hand, she frees up her other to lazily wave, offering the other woman a soft half-smile. ]

Hey. [ And she props her cheek in her hand. Okay, but... she really missed seeing her. This is nice. ] Whatcha up to, sugar?

[Satya is smiling when the other woman accepts her call, but she frowns slightly when she finally gets a good look at her. Ashe looks terrible, which she supposed is only to be expected the morning after drinking as much as she did, but still… she can’t help feeling a little concerned. She gives her a little wave in return.]

Just a little light reading, [she says, picking up the massive book on modern Middle Eastern architecture that had been resting next to her on the couch. She doesn’t elaborate on the fact that she had been having trouble focusing on her book, because her mind kept drifting back to the messages they exchanged hours ago.] And you? How are you feeling?

[She doesn’t look so good. Ashe is right: Satya has seen her at her worst, but the truth is that she would rather see her like this than not see her at all. I missed seeing you, she thinks to herself, too, but doesn’t put that thought into words, not out loud.]

[ Ashe breathes a soft chuckle at the sight of that huge book. Even in her literature choices, Satya's gotta be over-the-top extra. That is unsurprising somehow. ]

That's what you consider light readin'?

[ No. She really doesn't look good. It's nothing that a little bit of sleep, a bath, and some ibuprofen can't fix, but she's beyond wanting to get up at this point. The first option is all she'll be doing for the majority of the day.

The product of loneliness, really. It hits harder some days more than others. Unfortunately, trying to drown it in alcohol has many consequences. ]

I feel like hell, but... guess that one's on me. Reckon I drank a little too much last night.

Of course it is. This is a book on modern architecture, not on the principles of hard-light engineering.

[Satya gives her a funny look. Don't be silly, Ashe; there is nothing complicated about this book for it to qualify as anything more than 'light reading'.

Her gaze softens when Ashe speaks again. Of course she would feel like hell, given all the alcohol she ingested, but... why did she drink in the first place? She frowns again, obviously concerned.]

Why did you drink so much? Is something the matter?

Edited 2019-04-21 01:49 (UTC)

[ She arches an eyebrow at her. ]

Light readin' is usually a magazine or somethin'. That looks like a college textbook. But to each their own, I reckon.

[ At Satya's next question, Ashe isn't entirely sure how to respond at first. Or if she even wants to. The truth ran a little deeper and it wasn't something that she'd openly talk about with just anyone; if she even considered talking about it to begin with.

She shakes her head and gives a small shrug of her shoulders. ]

Dunno. One drink led to the next. Guess I just lost track.

[ Good enough. ]

[Satya shakes her head, amused. There are very few magazines that she would consider buying and reading front to back, but she does own a handful of them.]

A college textbook can be considered light reading, you realize.

[Luckily for Ashe, Satya sees no reason to doubt her words, and it seems plausible enough that someone would lose control of their alcohol intake the more they drank, so she doesn't press her for a different answer.]

You should be more careful the next time you drink, in that case. [Spoken in a neutral tone of voice; for once, she isn't judging. What a novel experience.] Although I do enjoy your company, perhaps it would be a good idea for you to rest a little longer? You clearly haven't slept as much as your body requires.

Like I said... to each their own.

[ Ashe rests her chin against the back of her arm, humming thoughtfully in response to Satya's suggestion. While she isn't wrong, she's also rather enjoying being able to talk to her and see her face via their video chat. She's definitely planning on making a habit out of this... yanno. When time allows for it.

With a soft sigh, she turns over onto her back, holding her phone above her as she looks up at the screen. ]

Yeah. I reckon. This headache ain't goin' away anytime soon. [ Pause. Her gaze flickers to the side for a moment, before returning to the screen. ] Talk to you later?

Mm-hm.

[Ashe isn't the only one who intends to make these video calls a regular occurrence: Satya wonders when they will be able to do it again, and is already looking forward to it, too. Given their timezone difference, it won't be possible to talk for hours on end because one of them will always have to go to work or go to sleep, but it would be lovely to talk to her in the mornings, or in the evenings, or...

She stops herself. That would certainly be too much, and she doesn't want to come across as overbearing or-- gods forbid-- clingy. She just feels an uncomplicated kind of joy when she speaks to Ashe, that's all.

(Except feelings are never uncomplicated, not for her, and that should sound every alarm in her mind-- and in her heart-- but it doesn't.)

When Ashe turns over onto her back, Satya does the same, making herself more comfortable on her couch.]

Of course. [She smiles and waves at the other woman.] Sleep well, Ashe.

Thanks. I will.

[ She gives her a little wave and a wink in return before ending the call.

She rests her phone against her chest as she stares up at the ceiling for a moment or two. So... maybe drunk texting Satya hadn't been such a bad thing after all. Granted, she'd likely never revisit those series of messages, but at least they're talking again?

Maybe there was something to that old saying "Everything happens for a reason." Even if those reasons aren't always the best, some of them were.

Releasing a sigh, she sets her phone aside and pulls the covers up over her, curling up onto her side as she tries to relax. The house is still all too quiet, but at least now she's too tired for it to bother her. Maybe she'd give Satya a call later. That was something to look forward to. ]

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I kissed a girl and I liked it.

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