deadlock_diva: (Take a load off)
Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe ([personal profile] deadlock_diva) wrote in [community profile] little_box_of_horrors2019-04-06 11:28 pm

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

(( PSL for [personal profile] realitybendstomywill ))


[ Ashe steps out onto the front porch of her small county house, taking in a deep breath of the warm, desert air. It feels so good to be free from the shackles of her illness. After two and a half weeks of pain, misery and recuperating, she wanted to go out and do something that wasn’t lying in bed or being limited to the rooms in her house. Symmetra was leaving within the next day or two and she also felt the need to express her gratitude.

Because… yanno. Ashe wasn’t a pleasant person when she was sick and she knew that all too well. Not that they hadn’t reached an understanding and gotten through that initial unpleasantness, but still.

The day before, she’d suggested that they go into town in the evening for a girl’s night out. Ashe never really had a lot of girl friends in the past and had silently always wondered what it’d be like. She assumed it was a lot different than the loud and rowdy times she had with her boys; which was fine and dandy enough, but sometimes? Getting dressed up just for the sake of it (and maybe for the sake of turning a few heads) sounded like a much better time to her. A different thrill from the bar fights, gambling and alcohol induced shenanigans.

Waiting for the other woman to finish getting ready, she drops her purse on the first step and then turns to take a seat on the porch swing, settling against the back and looking out at the quiet desert before her. She smooths out the soft fabric of the yellow dress she wore and then reaches to adjust the light brown fringe that exposed her shoulders and hung just low enough for a tasteful amount of cleavage. Her normally straight hair held soft curls that framed her face, the longer side lightly bouncing over her shoulder as the breeze blew through the porch. The belt that hugs her slim waist is the same light brown as the fringe, the buckle in the shape of a flower and adorned with turquoise stones. She’d chosen some strappy sandals instead of heels; being that she was still in the process of recovering, she hadn’t wanted to push herself too much. Plus, it was such a nice day for a light and flowy garment. Hell, it was the first time she’d worn a dress in a long while.

Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes, content to enjoy the wind on her face and the calm silence that only someone who lives out in the middle of absolute nowhere could grow accustomed to. ]

realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | you have my thanks)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-07 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh, Ashe drifted off as she waited. Did she really take that long to get ready? Or does this mean Ashe still feels exhausted, even after her health has improved significantly? Symmetra can’t help but wonder if she really is feeling well enough to head out like this, and she is about to gently poke her shoulder to bring her back to consciousness when Ashe wakes up and answers her question.

If it’s one of Ashe’s favorite places, then she assumes it must be good; Ashe does seem to have good taste, judging from what she knows of her so far. She nods in acknowledgment of such a choice, but then the other woman finally looks at her and her reaction is… well, quite different from what she was expecting. Symmetra blinks, surprised herself that Ashe reacted in such a way and/i> complimented her so strongly, and she can feel her cheeks heating up slightly in response. Oh no, did she overdo it? She always dresses this fancy when she goes out for dinner, so she didn’t think too much of it. Perhaps she should have tried to tone it down…?]


Oh. Thank you. [She wants to avert her eyes and play with a strand of hair, or just shift from one foot to the other-- anything to make this nervousness go away. She isn’t used to this feeling; is it the price to pay for having her first girl’s night out ever? Suddenly, she remembers that most people reply to a compliment like this with another compliment of their own, so she does exactly that.] You look very beautiful, yourself.

[Right, moving on; they have things to do and places to be. Ashe seems to remember it as well, given how she gets up from the swing and makes her way down the steps.]

Define ‘fun’, [she teases as she follows the other woman to the pickup truck, but there’s a hint of truth to her words: she has been a workaholic ever since Vishkar took her in, so her definition of fun is a little skewed. Still, she is willing to expand her experiences, at least for the time being.]
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | exquisite)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-08 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
[She doesn’t know just how tired Ashe is, or if she even feels tired at all, but she doesn’t look like it: in fact, the other woman looks almost energetic, and Symmetra can’t help but smile at how excitedly she is behaving. Such a drastic change from the moment they met, weeks ago.]

I don’t see why not. I will enjoy them all the same, you know.

[Well, she probably will, but she really can’t say anything until she finds out just what Ashe has planned for them. Regardless, knowing what is going to happen beforehand has never taken the joy out of doing things; not for her, at least.

She climbs into the passenger seat, fervently ignoring how dusty and old the vehicle is, and realizes that she has never been in a wheeled vehicle before. Is it safe? Does Ashe even know how to drive it? Why haven’t all of these vehicles been recalled for safety concerns? Why on earth is the radio playing a song about horses? And what exactly does Ashe mean by that?]


I could create a new vehicle for you, if you want, and we could avoid using something that belongs in a museum.

[She snaps her seatbelt into place. Symmetra isn’t concerned for her own safety, of course not. Well, she kind of is-- she has her whole life ahead of her, after all, and she would rather not die before her time, and certainly not in a car crash-- but she tries to be a little less obvious about it.]
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | I require healing)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-09 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
[She runs like a nightmare, Symmetra mumbles in Hindi, glancing at the rearview mirror just in time to see the cloud of dust forming behind them. She doesn’t see the appeal in risking her life just for the potentially hazardous increase of adrenaline running through her system, and she certainly fails to see how something so dirty and loud would ever be attractive. That is why, when Ashe speaks again, she turns her head slightly to give her a look, incredulous and murderous all at once.

Forget not being obvious about how much she dislikes this: she looks like she is internally screaming, and Ashe’s mischievous look does not help matters.]


This does not qualify under the definition of ‘fine’. There is nothing ‘fine’ about being unsure of your own safety, and there is nothing ‘fine’ about--

[She sees the large bump up ahead, and barely has the time to say oh no before the truck drives over it, making them jump in their seats from the sudden impact and drawing a surprised-- and frankly terrified-- sound out of Symmetra. She clings to her seat, not giving a damn if her mechanical arm accidentally claws a hole into the upholstery, and speaks her next words a little too quickly, nervousness obvious in her tone of voice.]

We should have made plans to stay in. If you had told me we would be using a primitive vehicle such as this one, I would have politely declined your offer. This experience is a frightening one.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | know your place)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-10 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[Symmetra doesn’t know what Ashe finds so joyful: the absolute danger of driving so recklessly, her reaction, or both. What she does know is that she really doesn’t like this at all, and if looks could kill, Ashe would have been quite dead by now.]

I need to be alive in order to live, and you are currently trying to kill us both. Are you out of your mind?

[Although she doesn’t know wheeled vehicles as well as she knows her hover cars, Satya knows enough to calculate the probability of a deadly (and/or severely crippling) car crash in an old pick-up truck being driven by a crazy woman through an unpaved path that cannot even be called a road. When Ashe drives over yet another bump in the road-- is she doing it on purpose? Surely she could have avoided driving right over it?-- the sudden movement sends her forward even though she’s using a seatbelt, and she reaches out with her mechanical arm for stability, her hand hitting the dash with a loud noise. Her hair falls forward, obscuring most of her face from view.]

Ashe, [she says as a warning, but there is something strange about her voice, something a lot like panic. Between the loud noises of the truck, the sheer danger of what is happening, and her absolute lack of control over their current situation, Satya is well on her way to being truly overwhelmed and absolutely terrified. It’s a good thing that she is now half-hiding behind her hair; she would hate for Ashe-- or anyone else-- to see her like this. Her hand tightens into a fist against the dash.] I swear to every Deva and Devi in existence that I will bring this vehicle to a halt if you do not slow down this instant. I mean it.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | much to be done)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-13 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[Satya focuses on the mechanics of using her skills to bring the pick-up truck to a halt as a coping mechanism, a strategy to keep the impending sensory overload at bay. It isn’t very effective, and her breathing is already getting faster by the time she feels the vehicle slow down a little. Calm down, Ashe says, and it is the worst thing to say to someone who is panicking or close to it: Satya’s reply is barely audible, breathed out through gritted teeth as it is.]

I am calm.

[She remains frozen in place for a moment longer, until she is absolutely certain that Ashe won’t speed up again. It is only then that her body loses some of its tension, and Satya slowly-- cautiously-- leans back against the seat, letting out a shaky exhale as she does so. She doesn’t glance at the other woman out of the corner of her eye, or even try to communicate in other ways: she turns slightly towards the window, propping her elbow against the passenger door and leaning her chin against her hand, not caring one bit if her posture seems defensive. Her mechanical hand moves to her lap, and she leans it subtly against her stomach, to help her focus on her breathing.

After what seems like hours have passed, but cannot have been more than a couple of minutes, Satya realizes that she should probably say something. She doesn’t owe her an apology for reacting the way she did-- if anything, Ashe owes her an apology for being so inconsiderate-- but perhaps she can give her an explanation; if anything, it may help prevent similar situations from happening in the future.]


Loud noises and speeding vehicles make me deeply uncomfortable.

[The accurate explanation would be I am on the autism spectrum, I have sensory processing difficulties and I do not know how to handle situations which I can’t control, but she doesn’t want to talk about it after coming down from being overwhelmed. It’s not that she’s embarrassed or even ashamed, because she isn’t-- she is proud of being different, because she can do things no one else can-- but she doesn’t want to have that conversation right now.]
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | exquisite)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-14 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ashe doesn’t know the truth yet, and if it depends on Satya, it will be a long time before she knows just why she reacted the way she did; if she ever knows at all, that is. Ashe hadn’t just been wrong when she thought Satya would come to tolerate her little challenge: she was unknowingly playing a game that would make her new friend have a meltdown and close herself off.

She doesn’t look in Ashe’s direction when she first speaks. In fact, she has no intention of making eye contact with the other woman until they get to where they’re supposed to go-- partly because she didn’t like what Ashe did, and partly so that she can focus on returning to a more normal state of mind-- but then the other woman brings the truck to a halt in the middle of the road, and that makes her blink in surprise. Although her body remains slightly turned towards the passenger door, she turns her head to look at Ashe, frowning. Just what is that supposed to mean?]


Then how did you mean to scare me?

[Fear is fear, and if Ashe wanted to scare her, then she wanted her to fear something; is that not how this goes? Satya has never understood the point in scaring someone, not unless they have consented to it beforehand. She watches as the other woman turns up the air conditioning and turns down the radio, welcoming a lower temperature.]

Yes. I already feel significantly better.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | much to be done)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-14 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, that explains a lot. Satya blinks when Ashe answers her question, realizing just now what Ashe was trying to make her feel. Indeed, a thrill and a scare are quite different: although both of those experiences depend on adrenaline for their desired effect, the goal isn't quite the same. Knowing that the other woman meant for her to feel a sort of thrill instead of fear makes her feel a little better.]

Oh. I understand now.

[She does, actually. That means that Ashe wanted her to feel good, in a way-- that is why people seek such kind of thrills in the first place, isn't it? It's not that Satya is unfamiliar with the concept, she just doesn't feel the desired effect under the specific circumstances that Ashe wanted her to-- and not that she wanted her to feel bad, and that makes all the difference.

Her apology is just as welcome as her explanation, and Satya finally moves so that she is leaning back against the passenger seat, instead of half-leaning against the door. She glances at the other woman out of the corner of her eye.]


Thank you. For your apology, and for modifying your behavior in order to accommodate my needs. [She brings her hands together, forming small shapes out of hard-light in the same way that someone would play nervously with a strand of hair.] Not many people have done that.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | much to be done)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-16 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Ashe’s impression is correct: Satya is much calmer, now that the unwanted stimuli have been removed from the equation. She is no longer tense, and she no longer feels on edge; there is only a little bit of nervousness left, and even that is slowly fading away.

Now that Ashe is being careful about her driving-- and being just as careful to avoid most bumps in the road, she can tell-- Symmetra can finally focus on their surroundings without being on alert. So she stops playing with hard-light and makes herself comfortable against the seat, pondering what to say in reply to her friend’s question. The answer is more complex and private than she would like, but she makes an effort to reply all the same.]


Common courtesy does not apply when you grow up in a highly competitive environment.

[There’s a hint of bitterness to her voice, hinting at many things she isn’t going to mention, not right now. Being rescued from the chaos of extreme poverty only to experience isolation. Being made fun of for her background. Having her sensory problems found out by her classmates, who all but weaponized it against her in their attempts to bring her down, until their tutors found out and did their best to forbid such disruptive behavior.

They failed: Satya Vaswani never broke. She withdrew into her own shell and she got stronger, better, until her skills shone above everyone else’s. No one got close enough to hurt her, no one was ever allowed inside her personal space, no one ever saw how lonely she truly was.

No one but her.]


When you are better than everyone else, someone will always try to find a weakness, and they will exploit it as much as they can get away with. Mine was… more visible than I would have liked.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | perfect harmony)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-20 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[For the first time since Satya started to feel overwhelmed, her lips curl into a little smile, and she lets out a quiet huff of amusement. Most people think she is arrogant and/or full of herself when she speaks so honestly about her own abilities, but Ashe is different: she likes it, and makes sure her friend knows it. She’s… glad.]

I am simply aware of my own skills. It would be illogical of me not to feel confident.

[As they drive onto a paved road, Satya can’t help looking longingly at the hover vehicles that drive past them, wishing they could be riding one of those instead. Alas, there is no sense in wishing for things that can’t happen right now.]

Of course I did. I humiliated them by always having better grades, by building better projects, and by achieving results they could only ever dream of. Their names have all but been erased from Vishkar history, while I have become one of the company's top architechs in the entire world.

[She is fiercely proud of her career, and it shows in her voice, in the quiet strength behind her words. That is not the kind of fighting Ashe meant, but Satya didn’t even interpret her words as such; besides, she knows that her success is a far greater revenge than physical violence would have been.]
Edited 2019-04-20 15:51 (UTC)
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | exquisite)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-22 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
[That makes Satya arch an eyebrow in amusement. Of course she keeps it classy; if she can’t do things elegantly and gracefully, then why do them at all?]

Naturally. Why wouldn’t I?

[Ashe isn’t the only one doing her share of people watching: Satya observes their surroundings, taking in every detail from the architecture of the town itself, to its inhabitants, to the restaurant by the end of the road. It’s… definitely very different from what she is used to. She isn’t quite sure if she likes it yet.

At the mention of physical violence, she looks at Ashe with a slight frown, wrinkling her nose at such a suggestion. She really couldn’t have opted for something so violent, even if she had wanted to; she’s sure she would have been kicked out of the architech academy in no time, regardless of her good grades.]


I do not resort to physical violence unless I have to. Besides, the emotional trauma caused by knowing they will always be inferior to the girl they bullied is more long-lasting than the momentary pain of having their teeth severely damaged.
realitybendstomywill: (सत्य | why do you struggle?)

[personal profile] realitybendstomywill 2019-04-28 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
[At Ashe’s question, her expression changes from a frown to a curious look. She supposes they are different, but then again Satya is different from most people, so of course they would be different from each other by default.]

I suppose we are, yes.

[And then the other woman has to go and say that, and Satya wrinkles her nose once again, quite obviously displeased that they should be discussing the benefits of physical violence in the first place. Violence is an unfortunate means to an end, yes, but it should not be glorified or even celebrated.]

That sounds remarkably like torture, which I do hope you are not referring to.

[What a lovely way to start off a girls’ night out. Satya isn’t a specialist on socializing and making new friends, but even she knows enough to deduce that prospective friends do not discuss the mechanics of physical versus emotional violence while getting to know each other better. Do they?

Pushing the thought aside, she gets down from her seat and shuts the door behind her as well, following her friend to the restaurant and getting inside when Ashe holds the door open for her.]


That is the main purpose of our little outing, yes.