I kissed a girl and I liked it.

[deadlock_diva]

(( PSL for realitybendstomywill ))


[ Ashe steps out onto the front porch of her small county house, taking in a deep breath of the warm, desert air. It feels so good to be free from the shackles of her illness. After two and a half weeks of pain, misery and recuperating, she wanted to go out and do something that wasn’t lying in bed or being limited to the rooms in her house. Symmetra was leaving within the next day or two and she also felt the need to express her gratitude.

Because… yanno. Ashe wasn’t a pleasant person when she was sick and she knew that all too well. Not that they hadn’t reached an understanding and gotten through that initial unpleasantness, but still.

The day before, she’d suggested that they go into town in the evening for a girl’s night out. Ashe never really had a lot of girl friends in the past and had silently always wondered what it’d be like. She assumed it was a lot different than the loud and rowdy times she had with her boys; which was fine and dandy enough, but sometimes? Getting dressed up just for the sake of it (and maybe for the sake of turning a few heads) sounded like a much better time to her. A different thrill from the bar fights, gambling and alcohol induced shenanigans.

Waiting for the other woman to finish getting ready, she drops her purse on the first step and then turns to take a seat on the porch swing, settling against the back and looking out at the quiet desert before her. She smooths out the soft fabric of the yellow dress she wore and then reaches to adjust the light brown fringe that exposed her shoulders and hung just low enough for a tasteful amount of cleavage. Her normally straight hair held soft curls that framed her face, the longer side lightly bouncing over her shoulder as the breeze blew through the porch. The belt that hugs her slim waist is the same light brown as the fringe, the buckle in the shape of a flower and adorned with turquoise stones. She’d chosen some strappy sandals instead of heels; being that she was still in the process of recovering, she hadn’t wanted to push herself too much. Plus, it was such a nice day for a light and flowy garment. Hell, it was the first time she’d worn a dress in a long while.

Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes, content to enjoy the wind on her face and the calm silence that only someone who lives out in the middle of absolute nowhere could grow accustomed to. ]

Comments

[realitybendstomywill]

[Ashe doesn’t know the truth yet, and if it depends on Satya, it will be a long time before she knows just why she reacted the way she did; if she ever knows at all, that is. Ashe hadn’t just been wrong when she thought Satya would come to tolerate her little challenge: she was unknowingly playing a game that would make her new friend have a meltdown and close herself off.

She doesn’t look in Ashe’s direction when she first speaks. In fact, she has no intention of making eye contact with the other woman until they get to where they’re supposed to go-- partly because she didn’t like what Ashe did, and partly so that she can focus on returning to a more normal state of mind-- but then the other woman brings the truck to a halt in the middle of the road, and that makes her blink in surprise. Although her body remains slightly turned towards the passenger door, she turns her head to look at Ashe, frowning. Just what is that supposed to mean?]

Then how did you mean to scare me?

[Fear is fear, and if Ashe wanted to scare her, then she wanted her to fear something; is that not how this goes? Satya has never understood the point in scaring someone, not unless they have consented to it beforehand. She watches as the other woman turns up the air conditioning and turns down the radio, welcoming a lower temperature.]

Yes. I already feel significantly better.

[deadlock_diva]

[ Ashe’s attention flickers back over to Satya. Meeting her gaze, her eyes are searching and calculating as she takes note of her posture and her expression. The outlaw wasn’t blind; she can see now what she did was really not okay.

Evening without her meaning for it to, her gaze softens a touch as she turns her head to look forward again. The more she realizes just how badly she scared the other woman, the worse she feels. Not the best start to a fun night out. ]

Well. It was supposed to be more of a thrill, and less of a scare.

[ She absently runs her hands along the bottom curve of the wheel. Huh. She rarely feels the need to apologize and doesn't do it often. It's... funny how something so trivial can be so difficult? Yet, she feels that it's absolutely necessary.

Sigh. ]

I’m sorry.

[realitybendstomywill]

[Well, that explains a lot. Satya blinks when Ashe answers her question, realizing just now what Ashe was trying to make her feel. Indeed, a thrill and a scare are quite different: although both of those experiences depend on adrenaline for their desired effect, the goal isn't quite the same. Knowing that the other woman meant for her to feel a sort of thrill instead of fear makes her feel a little better.]

Oh. I understand now.

[She does, actually. That means that Ashe wanted her to feel good, in a way-- that is why people seek such kind of thrills in the first place, isn't it? It's not that Satya is unfamiliar with the concept, she just doesn't feel the desired effect under the specific circumstances that Ashe wanted her to-- and not that she wanted her to feel bad, and that makes all the difference.

Her apology is just as welcome as her explanation, and Satya finally moves so that she is leaning back against the passenger seat, instead of half-leaning against the door. She glances at the other woman out of the corner of her eye.]

Thank you. For your apology, and for modifying your behavior in order to accommodate my needs. [She brings her hands together, forming small shapes out of hard-light in the same way that someone would play nervously with a strand of hair.] Not many people have done that.

[deadlock_diva]

[ At least Satya seems to be calming down. Again, she hadn’t at all meant to stir up such a strong reaction out of her. So maybe her little hobby of jumping those little hills and bumps in the road will be all her own. And, well… her boys never usually minded accompanying her; with or without the copious consumption of alcohol.

Because that was safe.

Satya’s witchcraft draws Ashe’s attention back toward her, a curious glint to her expression as she watches her. Her words throw her off a bit; it’s one thing for someone like her not to apologize, but for others? That’s kind of strange, isn’t it? Her entire wording also raises some questions. ]

How come? Seems like it’d be common courtesy.

[ She watches Satya's hands for a second longer before facing forward and placing the truck back into drive. The speed only reaches about 35. They have some time to spare. No need to rush and cause Satya more grief. While it’s still a pretty bumpy ride, she does her best to avoid the larger dips and bumps in the road. ]

[realitybendstomywill]

[Ashe’s impression is correct: Satya is much calmer, now that the unwanted stimuli have been removed from the equation. She is no longer tense, and she no longer feels on edge; there is only a little bit of nervousness left, and even that is slowly fading away.

Now that Ashe is being careful about her driving-- and being just as careful to avoid most bumps in the road, she can tell-- Symmetra can finally focus on their surroundings without being on alert. So she stops playing with hard-light and makes herself comfortable against the seat, pondering what to say in reply to her friend’s question. The answer is more complex and private than she would like, but she makes an effort to reply all the same.]

Common courtesy does not apply when you grow up in a highly competitive environment.

[There’s a hint of bitterness to her voice, hinting at many things she isn’t going to mention, not right now. Being rescued from the chaos of extreme poverty only to experience isolation. Being made fun of for her background. Having her sensory problems found out by her classmates, who all but weaponized it against her in their attempts to bring her down, until their tutors found out and did their best to forbid such disruptive behavior.

They failed: Satya Vaswani never broke. She withdrew into her own shell and she got stronger, better, until her skills shone above everyone else’s. No one got close enough to hurt her, no one was ever allowed inside her personal space, no one ever saw how lonely she truly was.

No one but her.]

When you are better than everyone else, someone will always try to find a weakness, and they will exploit it as much as they can get away with. Mine was… more visible than I would have liked.

[deadlock_diva]

[ Ashe arches an eyebrow, keeping her eyes on the road in front of her. ]

Better than everyone else, huh? [ A smirk tugs at one corner of her mouth. ] I really like the way you think. Don’t see that brand of confidence too often.

[ She turns the wheel, pulling onto a paved road; it’s still a little bumpy, but a lot smoother than the gravel and dirt they’d been on moments before. There’s a little bit more traffic the closer they get to town; though it’s all hover vehicles. The drivers do tend to give Ashe and Satya strange looks as they pass them.

Her truck is very old. ]

So what’d you do? You ever get back at 'em for all the grief they caused you?

[ Because fighting is always the solution. Ashe. ]

[realitybendstomywill]

[For the first time since Satya started to feel overwhelmed, her lips curl into a little smile, and she lets out a quiet huff of amusement. Most people think she is arrogant and/or full of herself when she speaks so honestly about her own abilities, but Ashe is different: she likes it, and makes sure her friend knows it. She’s… glad.]

I am simply aware of my own skills. It would be illogical of me not to feel confident.

[As they drive onto a paved road, Satya can’t help looking longingly at the hover vehicles that drive past them, wishing they could be riding one of those instead. Alas, there is no sense in wishing for things that can’t happen right now.]

Of course I did. I humiliated them by always having better grades, by building better projects, and by achieving results they could only ever dream of. Their names have all but been erased from Vishkar history, while I have become one of the company's top architechs in the entire world.

[She is fiercely proud of her career, and it shows in her voice, in the quiet strength behind her words. That is not the kind of fighting Ashe meant, but Satya didn’t even interpret her words as such; besides, she knows that her success is a far greater revenge than physical violence would have been.]

[deadlock_diva]

[ Hey. As far as Ashe is concerned, a little bit of arrogance isn't too bad. Especially when you've got everything to show for it. A quiet chuckle escapes her, but she doesn't say anything more, but instead listens to Satya as she speaks. ]

How 'bout that. Keepin' it classy.

[ Not that she’d expect anything less from Satya. She stops at a light, taking note of the people who walked the sidewalks in the small town. The restaurant can be seen at the end of the road. ]

Could'a knocked some teeth out while you were at it, though. Sounds like they sure deserved it.

[ Not that she can really talk about bullying. She'd been an absolute terror growing up, from insulting her teachers to physically dominating her classmates (mostly boys). Discipline did little to stop her; her parents didn't know how, nor did they take the time to handle her and B.O.B., well... he was an Omnic not terribly well-versed in child rearing.

B.O.B. did his best. ]

[realitybendstomywill]

[That makes Satya arch an eyebrow in amusement. Of course she keeps it classy; if she can’t do things elegantly and gracefully, then why do them at all?]

Naturally. Why wouldn’t I?

[Ashe isn’t the only one doing her share of people watching: Satya observes their surroundings, taking in every detail from the architecture of the town itself, to its inhabitants, to the restaurant by the end of the road. It’s… definitely very different from what she is used to. She isn’t quite sure if she likes it yet.

At the mention of physical violence, she looks at Ashe with a slight frown, wrinkling her nose at such a suggestion. She really couldn’t have opted for something so violent, even if she had wanted to; she’s sure she would have been kicked out of the architech academy in no time, regardless of her good grades.]

I do not resort to physical violence unless I have to. Besides, the emotional trauma caused by knowing they will always be inferior to the girl they bullied is more long-lasting than the momentary pain of having their teeth severely damaged.

[deadlock_diva]

[ Ashe chuckles at Satya's response, stopping the truck once they pull up into the parking lot. She sits back against the seat for a moment, turning her head to glance over at Satya. ]

We're 'bout as different as different can be, aren't we?

[ She gives her a wink before opening the door and hopping down from the seat. ]

The trick with physical violence, is you've gotta be able to scare 'em too. So that they remember it and have the scars to prove it. Your way ain't too bad, though. I'll give you that.

[ She shuts the door, reaches into the bed of the truck to grab her purse. Slinging the strap over her shoulder, she rounds the truck to walk over to the entrance of the restaurant, pausing to open the door for Satya. ]

After you. Let's have ourselves a nice evenin', hm?

[realitybendstomywill]

[At Ashe’s question, her expression changes from a frown to a curious look. She supposes they are different, but then again Satya is different from most people, so of course they would be different from each other by default.]

I suppose we are, yes.

[And then the other woman has to go and say that, and Satya wrinkles her nose once again, quite obviously displeased that they should be discussing the benefits of physical violence in the first place. Violence is an unfortunate means to an end, yes, but it should not be glorified or even celebrated.]

That sounds remarkably like torture, which I do hope you are not referring to.

[What a lovely way to start off a girls’ night out. Satya isn’t a specialist on socializing and making new friends, but even she knows enough to deduce that prospective friends do not discuss the mechanics of physical versus emotional violence while getting to know each other better. Do they?

Pushing the thought aside, she gets down from her seat and shuts the door behind her as well, following her friend to the restaurant and getting inside when Ashe holds the door open for her.]

That is the main purpose of our little outing, yes.