I kissed a girl and I liked it.

[deadlock_diva]

(( PSL for realitybendstomywill ))


[ Ashe steps out onto the front porch of her small county house, taking in a deep breath of the warm, desert air. It feels so good to be free from the shackles of her illness. After two and a half weeks of pain, misery and recuperating, she wanted to go out and do something that wasn’t lying in bed or being limited to the rooms in her house. Symmetra was leaving within the next day or two and she also felt the need to express her gratitude.

Because… yanno. Ashe wasn’t a pleasant person when she was sick and she knew that all too well. Not that they hadn’t reached an understanding and gotten through that initial unpleasantness, but still.

The day before, she’d suggested that they go into town in the evening for a girl’s night out. Ashe never really had a lot of girl friends in the past and had silently always wondered what it’d be like. She assumed it was a lot different than the loud and rowdy times she had with her boys; which was fine and dandy enough, but sometimes? Getting dressed up just for the sake of it (and maybe for the sake of turning a few heads) sounded like a much better time to her. A different thrill from the bar fights, gambling and alcohol induced shenanigans.

Waiting for the other woman to finish getting ready, she drops her purse on the first step and then turns to take a seat on the porch swing, settling against the back and looking out at the quiet desert before her. She smooths out the soft fabric of the yellow dress she wore and then reaches to adjust the light brown fringe that exposed her shoulders and hung just low enough for a tasteful amount of cleavage. Her normally straight hair held soft curls that framed her face, the longer side lightly bouncing over her shoulder as the breeze blew through the porch. The belt that hugs her slim waist is the same light brown as the fringe, the buckle in the shape of a flower and adorned with turquoise stones. She’d chosen some strappy sandals instead of heels; being that she was still in the process of recovering, she hadn’t wanted to push herself too much. Plus, it was such a nice day for a light and flowy garment. Hell, it was the first time she’d worn a dress in a long while.

Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes, content to enjoy the wind on her face and the calm silence that only someone who lives out in the middle of absolute nowhere could grow accustomed to. ]

Comments

[realitybendstomywill]

[That smile makes Satya feel wonderfully warm, like when she dances to her favorite songs or curls up under her weighed blanket, and it makes her want to pull her friend into a kiss they can both get lost in. However, given what they were doing before they were interrupted by Ashe’s associate, she’s certain that kissing would make them go back to that in no time, and they really need to talk. So she doesn’t kiss the other woman, but the warmth in her eyes and the way she leans a little closer to her make her affection obvious enough.

Satya doesn’t usually get attached, either. What happened with her was a learning experience, shaping every romantic and sexual interaction for years to come, and since then, the architech has always been careful to define parameters ahead of time, to avoid giving her casual sex partners the wrong idea-- to prevent herself from getting the wrong idea, as well. She got used to it fairly easily, focusing on her work and isolating herself socially as always, keeping loneliness at bay by pretending she wasn’t lonely at all. And she was doing just fine, thank you very much, until she was all but forced to take care of a sick, stubborn woman, and she remembered just how wonderful it can be to share the company of another human being--especially one as brilliant, strong-willed and beautiful as Ashe. Her carefully built walls never stood a chance.

In the split second that passes between Ashe lifts her hand and settles it down on top of Satya’s, the architech can’t help but think that maybe she shouldn’t have touched her like this, that maybe Ashe finds that part of her body weird and uncomfortable and ugly and would rather not be touched by it at all. But then she runs a fingertip over the many details on her prosthetic hand and intertwines their fingers together, and Satya realizes that her friend is quite okay with it, after all. She isn’t self-conscious about her prosthetic arm, not anymore, but there is always a certain hesitation with a new partner, a slight uncertainty of just what she can or cannot do with her prosthetic limb.

I’m already attached, Ashe says, and that wonderful warmth comes rushing back with full force, her smile widening with each word the other woman says. A long-distance relationship is not ideal, but she is more than willing to give it a try, the euphoria of having her feelings reciprocated clouding her better judgement regarding the pros and cons of being with someone who lives on the other side of the world. She smiles, nodding her yes, and is just about to reply with I would like that very much when Ashe says she needs to tell her something about herself, before going silent for a moment.

Of course there would be a catch. Of course.

She blinks in surprise when Ashe finally says what she meant to say, frowning slightly at her. Well then. She was expecting to hear several unlikely things, from I have two children from a previous marriage to I have never been involved with anyone before, but she did not expect to hear I’m in the business of organized crime. Oh, she was certain her friend’s actions weren’t fully legal-- she can’t criticize that, given everything she has done as Symmetra to guarantee a better world for everyone-- but organized crime is a whole different thing.

She knew this was too good to be true-- that Ashe was too good to be true. Other than that annoyingly asymmetrical haircut, her friend was simply too perfect. She should have tried to find her flaws, just like she has done with everyone else she has ever been attracted to.]

It… wasn’t very obvious, no, even though I was certain you were in the business of doing things illegally. [Does it bother her? Yes, quite a bit: she remembers the street gangs in Hyderabad and how they blossomed from chaos and pushed the slums even deeper into it as they gained power. Can she handle it? Satya can handle a lot of things, but she remains faithful to her principles, and she doesn’t know if she can handle this.] I do not know. I need to think and examine this new development more thoroughly.

[Staying close to Ashe while thinking about something so important just won’t cut it: she needs something to help her think. Shifting slightly so that her arm is no longer around Ashe’s waist, she brings that hand to her lap and gently releases her cybernetic hand from Ashe’s grasp, looking almost like she’s about to let go and pull back, until she reaches for Ashe’s hand and turns it so that it is placed palm-up on her lap.]

Keep your hand like this for a moment, please.

[With Ashe’s palm and fingers facing up, Satya begins the process of creating a few threads out of hard-light, looping them around her fingers and Ashe’s in a modified game of cat’s cradle. It is clear that the repetitive motions and the intricate patterns help her ground her thoughts: her expression gradually changes from confused to thoughtful, and her body-- which had tensed up ever so slightly at Ashe’s unexpected revelation-- fully relaxes against the other woman once again. Her fingers stop all of a sudden as two important questions pop up in her mind, and she looks up at the other woman, wanting to gauge out her reaction to them.]

Do you try to create order? Is there a purpose to it, or is chaos your only goal?

[deadlock_diva]

[ It was inevitable, really. Just the fact that anyone she might ever be interested in would push her away for that reason alone. A reason that’s honestly fine with her, as she chose this life for herself and has absolutely no intention of stopping anytime soon. If ever.

Unfortunately, any and all relationships she had were either short-lived and picked with such care that they became short lived once she found that they couldn’t be. She didn’t always trust others in her line of work enough to engage in something beyond an acquaintance for the sake of keeping friendly connections. Anyone on the outside of the criminal world? Well… they would have to resign themselves to being with a known outlaw.

Still. Even in knowing that, even in having prepared herself for that time and time again, she can’t help the feeling of disappointment that falls over her when Satya pulls her hands away. Nor can she help the way her smile fades as her expression falls. Her crease in her brow deepens a bit and she’s just about to release Satya and allow her to move when she finds her taking her hand. Wait. What?

With a curious tilt of her head, she complies, watching the threads in silent wonder just as she had all the other times she’d observed Satya creating something out of hard light. However, this time, she can’t focus solely on the little game going on in between their fingertips. Her eyes flicker to Satya’s every now and again. Watching. Waiting for an answer. Something more than what she’d given her.

Finally, Satya speaks. She asks her if she tries to create order or if chaos is her only goal. Ashe just smiles and chuckles softly. ]

Order? Not exactly. But chaos ain’t my only goal either. Nothin’ would get done if it was.

[ A beat. ]

I’ll tell you a little more’a my story, hm?

[ She glances back down at their hands again; that hard light weaving is pretty relaxing to watch. She can understand why Satya would turn to that. ]

I wanted a family… one that paid me mind. One that cared about each other. So, I went out and built one of my own. Met a fella ‘bout my age on a farm, just as wild as I was. Got me started down this road.

[ Her words trail off briefly at that short mention, but then she shakes it off and continues on. ]

Back then, I was just a rebel without a cause. That bein’ said, it didn’t take long for me to figure out my callin’. At that point, I knew two things for certain: I craved the thrill and excitement of the chase. And I was damn good at gettin’ away with things most people couldn’t. [ Chuckle. ] Cops in my town knew me by name. My boys started recognizin’ me as their leader. And then things started changin’. Our heists got more… intricate. Better planned. We took on more additions to our little family over the years. Got more connections and grew in prominence over the Southwest. Made a name for ourselves.

‘Course… bein’ in a family like mine means dealin’ with others. For a good few years, there were wars between us and the surroundin’ gangs. Every fight ended in a blood bath... Lost one too many boys to the wrong end of a rifle. After a ‘while, I decided it wasn’t really a good use of anyone’s time. So… I organized a little get together of every gang leader I could get ahold of. By the end of a very long few days, we’d come to an agreement that we’d respect each other’s territories, abide by four simple rules, and work together when possible. Or… well. At least not against each other.

Don’t know if that really counts as creatin’ order, but it’s sure quieter down in Arizona.

[ She dares a glance at Satya's face, looking a bit resigned herself. She also finds that she’d been rubbing Satya’s back without even realizing it. She stops, lifting her hand from her back to rest on the couch behind her. ]

Whatcha thinkin'?

[realitybendstomywill]

[Although Satya isn’t looking at the other woman as her expression falls, she catches the way her smile fades out of the corner of her eye, but she swallows down the need to apologize for making the other woman feel bad, even though she doesn’t understand why she did; she didn’t even give her an answer yet.

Whatever the reason is, there are matters they need to discuss, and Satya saves that information for later and focuses on the matter at hand, looking intently at the other woman after making her question. Ashe smiles again and Satya wants to reach out and kiss her beautiful lips, but she doesn’t: she remains where she is, her fingers tied to Ashe’s by intricate, complex patterns. When her friend says she’ll tell her more about her story, Satya nods, her eyes watching her closely even as Ashe looks down at their hands and doesn’t make eye contact.

Having never been closely acquainted with any criminals-- that she knows of, she is quick to remind herself-- Satya isn’t sure just what to expect from her friend’s story. Oh, she thought she would hear about her heists most of all, or their weapons, or even the surely complex logistics of running a gang-- she did not expect Ashe to start talking about family.

Satya blinks in surprise, a pang of understanding hitting her with such force that it makes her chest ache. Did Ashe feel as lonely as she did?

She wants to make the hard-light threads disappear so she can hold the other woman and pull her close, but she won’t, not when Ashe is so intent on looking at their hands and not looking at her; she doesn’t want her friend to lose her train of thought, after all. Ashe goes on, going into more detail about her personal life in this single moment than she has done in the past two months, and Satya listens with rapt attention, her nose wrinkling slightly at the mention of unnecessary bloodshed, but her expression returns to normal once Ashe tells her how she brought peace to the Southwest-- using her excellent diplomacy skills, no doubt.

Satya isn’t quite sure if that counts as creating order, either, but it counts as actively avoiding further chaos, and that is valuable enough by itself. She meets Ashe’s eyes when she finally looks up at her, but she doesn’t understand why she looks almost resigned; is that not the life she has chosen? Why would she look resigned about it in the first place?

As focused on those words as she is, Satya doesn’t realize Ashe has been stroking her back until her hand stops and pulls away, and she frowns slightly in confusion for a second, her expression clearing slightly at that question. What is she thinking? She is thinking that it hurts knowing how lonely they both were in the past, and that it is a downright waste for Ashe to invest her talents in a life of crime rather than investing them in a career in philanthropy or politics. But no matter how distasteful Satya finds it, it’s impossible to ignore how much Ashe’s work means to her-- how much her family means to her-- and it’s just as obvious that she isn’t just a street ruffian. She actually has a cause worth fighting for: her family-- her home. Satya respects that and understands that, she really does, but a part of her still vows to help make Ashe see reason, or maybe even guide her in the right direction so that her actions actually help improve the lives of those around her, making the world a better place.

She doesn’t realize that she gets lost in thought until after a moment has passed, and then her eyes focus on Ashe again, her expression turning serious.]

Oh. I see, I… [She sighs quietly. With a slight motion of her fingers, the hard-light threads disappear into thin air, leaving behind a few sparkles as Ashe’s hand is released. Satya seems to hesitate for a moment before she looks down, breaking eye contact, reaching for Ashe’s hand with both of hers as she leans a little closer against the other woman, resting her head against her friend’s shoulder with a soft exhale. There is no way around it: she has to do this, no matter how uncomfortable she feels about opening up at all.] I am thinking that I should tell you more about myself, as well.

[Where does she even start? There is a point she is trying to make here, which requires her to bring up her whole past-- that, and wanting to return Ashe’s trust with more trust of her own-- but she has never really talked about this kind of thing. Perhaps she should just start at the beginning, as people often say.]

I have already told you I was born in Hyderabad. What I failed to mention was that I was born and raised in the slums: the daughter of an unwed mother. A pariah, which is a hard enough role by itself, but even more so when you live in extreme poverty and are different from everyone else.

[She describes it almost matter-of-factly, but it’s clear from the way she curls slightly in on herself that, even after all this time, this remains a very sensitive subject.]

It was nearly impossible to escape violence in the slums; if the gangs didn’t get you, something else would. Children were recruited early on to become child soldiers, or made into addicts so that they had no other choice but to give in. We could go to school, and our education was respected by every gang in the slums, but there was only so much sanctuary school could provide us with when its walls were riddled with bullet holes.

Back then, it bothered me that I was not like the other children, but I was smart enough to realize that that was the only reason why the gangs left me and my mother alone. Ultimately, perhaps her life would have been saved if I had been taken in by a gang; it was not until I was an adult that I realized the disease that killed her could have been cured by the antibiotics we could not afford. After she passed, auntie and her family took me in, but I did not like them. They were loud, unpleasant, dirty… Vishkar found me soon after that, and I was placed in the care of the Architech Academy.

My ultimate goal is to make the world a better place, but I am aware that, in order to do so, there are times when even I must resort to less legal methods. [She pauses, letting go of Ashe’s hand so she can adjust her position enough so that she is facing the other woman, wanting to look Ashe in the eye as she says her next words.] But I do not condone lethal force unless there is no other alternative. I will not stand by as families are torn apart by crime or war. And I will never, under any circumstances, accept civilians—especially children-- being caught in the crossfire.

[There is a quiet determination in her voice as she says those words, the kind of determination that shows how far she is willing to go-- and just how much she is willing to sacrifice-- to turn chaos into order.]

I think… I may learn how to handle your line of business, but... This is where I draw the line. Do you take care not to let civilians get caught in the crossfire? Can you assure me that no child has ever taken a bullet meant for someone else, and that no child ever will?

[deadlock_diva]

[ There’s some uncharacteristic anxiety in the pit of her stomach as she waits for Satya to reply. She’s just about to say something more when the other woman’s expression turns more serious. That ”Oh. I see,” the sigh that follows, and the way she dismisses that hard light connecting their fingers just abouts confirms Ashe’s beliefs. In the back of her mind, she’s already in the process of figuring out a plan should she be asked to leave; however, Satya reaches for her hand and leans against her shoulder.

This suspense is just about to kill her at this point and she hates that one person could make her feel so vulnerable. As though she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve. And they haven’t even started dating.

She makes a soft noise of acknowledgement in response to Satya’s statement, slowly wrapping her arms around her waist and nuzzling her cheek into her hair. ] That’s fine. Go on… [ She’ll listen. That’s all well and good; she keeps grabbing onto that small sliver of hope, even when she knows better.

Satya goes on to tell her about her life growing up and it’s… such a contrast from her own childhood. Born into every opportunity imaginable. Every one of her needs met and attended to. A large house (and several other homes around the United States). The one thing she lacked was the love and attention of her parents; something that she resented to this day.

While she couldn’t say that she’d be terribly sad to hear that her own parents passed away, she can’t even imagine what it might be like to lose a real mother to sickess all because they couldn’t afford a simple treatment. It’s a foreign concept to her, having never wanted for anything. Ashe hums softly, her brow furrowing a bit as she turns her head to press a kiss to Satya’s temple.

What did she mean that she was different?. Granted, some of her social abilities seemed a bit off, but for the most part, she was very logical, adept and capable. She figured that perhaps she spent the majority of her life immersed in her studies and her lacking in some social skills was a direct result. It’d only make sense, wouldn’t it?

Ashe lifts the hand around Satya’s back, to the back of her head, fingers gently sifting through black strands. She meets her gaze when Satya pulls back enough to look at her, shifting to face her more fully. Pulling her hand out of her hair, she rests it on the couch instead, listening intently to her words, watching her expression; the look in her eyes. The determination.

Ashe gives her a soft half-smile, slowly shaking her head. ]

I can’t assure you that a situation like that has never gone down. But, darlin’… that’s one’a the reasons why I worked to put an end to all that fightin’. As you already know, it was causin’ tremendous grief and drawin' too much attention to all of us. Now, my cause ain’t for the… noblest of reasons, but even I know there’s benefit in keepin’ on good terms with the folks of these small towns. There's plenty'a fine ladies and gentlemen that I'm acquainted with. Not really a point to unnecessary killin' and violence just for the sake of it.

[ A beat. ]

That ain't my agenda, no. I can promise you that much.

[realitybendstomywill]

[Satya remembers with vivid detail the only times she has talked about her life before Vishkar in such a way: at the Architech Academy, during a psychological evaluation when she was still a child, and many years later, with her, when one too many drinks led to Satya finally revealing the complete truth about her past. Unlike what happened before, Satya is neither a child or under the influence of alcohol, and she finds it surprisingly therapeutical to open up about her childhood while being held by a close friend. As she speaks, she feels herself relaxing gradually against Ashe, comforted by the warmth of her body and how strangely safe she feels in her arms.

After she pulls back enough to look at Ashe and explains to her what she will and will not accept, Satya can’t help feeling a flicker of nervousness as she waits for her friend to answer. This is it: this is what it all comes down to, and Ashe’s answer will determine whether or not Satya can accept her and her line of work, or if things must end before they even began. She watches her intently, hyper-focused on Ashe’s words and body language as she assesses the pros and cons of being in a relationship with a criminal, and tries to ignore the fact that she is basically trying to come up with a valid reason to date a prominent leader of an organized crime gang.

Satya isn’t too proud of herself for that, but then again, she isn’t proud of many things she has done as Symmetra, either.

Ashe’s answer isn’t the immediate I will never allow for such a thing to happen that Satya was fervently hoping for, but it’s as close to it as she is ever going to get. Satya takes another moment to think things over, but in reality, she is only delaying the inevitable: admitting to herself that she is willing to overlook a very important character flaw for the sake of pursuing a relationship with the wonderful woman she is currently looking at.

She lets out a slow exhale, biting her lower lip as she nods her answer: yes, she wants to give this a try, even though Ashe is a criminal. But there is still something else they must talk about, and Satya knows it cannot wait until later.]

There is something else you must know about me. [Her voice is softer, almost hesitant, because she doesn’t know how Ashe will react to what she’s about to say. It has been a very long time since Satya has felt ashamed or bothered by her diagnosis, but just like Ashe knows not many people would want to be in a relationship with a gang leader, Satya also knows that most people would not date someone with a physical disability and a neurodevelopmental disorder. She reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind Ashe’s ear, her touching lingering for a second longer before she pulls her hand back.] I am on the autism spectrum. My mind works differently from yours, from my thoughts and feelings to my ability to process sensory stimuli.

[She pauses, and then decides to return Ashe’s question from earlier:]

Can you handle that?

[deadlock_diva]

[ Honestly? This is a level of intimacy that Ashe hasn’t felt in a long time: Sitting with someone she has strong feelings for, the almost complete skin on skin contact and the level of trust that seems to be forming between them. Amazing how long she’s only pursued a mere fling when she could have had something more like this. Maybe it’s worth the risks.

Just maybe.

All she knows right now is that Satya is agreeing despite what she’s been told of her background and the wave of relief that hits Ashe is almost enough to knock her over. A soft laugh escapes her, her face lighting up to where she’s almost beaming. How long has it been, really? How long as he been since she’s had this level of desire to be with someone else? Too damn long. Way too damn long. But in a way? After meeting Satya, she decides it’s been well worth the wait.

And then the architech speaks again and all Ashe wants to say is that there isn’t likely anything more that is going to keep her from wanting to pursue a relationship with her, but she doesn’t. She knows when to listen and she holds her tongue. Satya sounds almost hesitant, and that alone tells her that this is likely just as important as everything else she’s told her already.

That revelation. That… fact that she’s autistic. Well… ]

Is that what it is? [ She hums, undeterred and too happy to even make an attempt to look serious. ] Sure explains a lot, don’t it?

[ Even as Ashe’s expression has barely shifted, there’s a look of realization. Almost as though she’d considered something was off with Satya, but couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was. ]

Help me understand and I’ll handle it just fine. [ She leans in, nuzzling against her cheek. Then she takes Satya's cybernetic hand into hers and brings it up to her lips, placing a kiss against her knuckles with a small turn of her head. ] Listen. I want this. I want you. If you can accept who I am? Well… [ She laces their fingers together again. ] -darlin’, ain't it only fair that I accept who you are?

[realitybendstomywill]

[It’s been a long time since Satya felt this kind of intimacy, too-- since she felt this level of trust-- and it’s so wonderful that she has to forcefully push aside the thought that this is simply too good to be true. No, surely it is both too good and true, because statistically speaking, there is a percentage of things that seem too good to be true but end up being wonderfully real after all, and as small as that percentage may be, it definitely exists and--

She is sidetracked from her thoughts by Ashe’s reaction. Her relief is so strong that Satya can all but feel it herself, in the way her body loses some of its tension, and then that laugh and that smile make her own heart beat even faster. Satya knew her friend would be happy about her agreeing to this new thing between them, but Ashe isn’t just happy: she is beaming, and Satya commits the sight of it to memory, feeling in awe that she made her feel that way at all.

Unfortunately, their conversation doesn’t just end there, and Satya does feel nervous as she waits for a reaction to her little revelation. And then it happens, and… Ashe almost doesn’t react, her expression barely changing at all. But of course she makes the same commentary everyone else has ever done. Of course. Satya lets out a quiet huff of breath that sounds too much like an annoyed sigh.]

Ah, yes. I have never heard that one before.

[Those next words change everything, however. Ashe tells her to help her understand, leaning in to nuzzle her cheek. No one has ever told her to help them understand-- not even her-- always resorting to their already existing knowledge of what they think autism is and isn’t, or doing their own research, completely missing the fact that it is a spectrum, wildly different from person to person, and that only a person with autism can truly say what it is like for them. Satya nods, her lips curling into a small but happy smile, and then Ashe takes her cybernetic hand and brings it up to her lips so she can kiss the knuckles and oh, Satya’s smile becomes almost delirious. There is only so much sensory stimuli she can feel through her cybernetic arm, but for a moment there, it feels almost as if Ashe is kissing her real arm, as if her lips are touching skin instead of a highly advanced metal alloy.

Any lingering doubts that her cybernetic arm may have made Ashe uncomfortable in any way fades away completely at that, and it’s impossible to look away from her friend’s lips touching her knuckles. Until Ashe goes and says that, and a quiet, breathy little oh escapes her lips, before she goes quiet, not knowing what to say. I want this. I want you, Ashe said, and it’s Satya’s turn to let out a breathless little laugh, her smile widening.]

You are correct, but… [She leans in to nuzzle her nose against Ashe’s, before pulling back just enough to look at her, while remaining close enough that her breath still ghosts over Ashe’s mouth as she speaks. Satya brings her other hand up and settles it against Ashe’s cheek, her thumb rubbing lightly along the skin, tantalizingly close to her lips.] I am a perfectionist overachiever who feels everything with increased intensity. Are you absolutely certain you want me?

[Does she just want to hear Ashe say that again? Maybe.]

[deadlock_diva]

[ Hah. Of course she’s heard that one before. Ashe hadn’t even considered her words before she’d spoken them and it’s only after’s Satya’s little comment that she realizes how typical that probably sounded. It’s the truth, isn’t it? As someone who isn't all that familiar with the autism spectrum, what else is she supposed to say upon finding out? Ah well. Aside from that cute little huff of hers, Satya doesn’t seem too displeased.

Far from it, actually. That’s proved in the way she smiles and breathes that little oh in response to Ashe’s words. The way she nuzzles in closer and laughs the same way Ashe feels. How genuinely happy she looks, how radiant. In a way, it feels as though this is a side of Satya that many people never see. This is who she really is behind the perfectionist overachiever. It's what drew her in so quickly and what continues to do so. Allowing herself a moment to just look at the woman in her lap all too fondly, Ashe wills herself out of those far away thoughts. By the time she does, Satya's all but breathing against her lips, and it’s no wonder that all she can do in return is act.

Not even a second after Satya’s question, Ashe leans in and kisses her, lingering for just a moment before pulling back. ]

Yes. You might just be a little eccentric, but... you're also beautiful, intelligent, interesting. Unique.

[ Releasing her cybernetic arm, she wraps both arms around her waist, pulling her against her and wishing that they were sitting like they had been earlier. Still, she can pull her close enough for her own satisfaction. ]

And I’m absolutely certain that I want you. [ She kisses her again, briefly. ] Ain't no doubt in my mind. [ Another one. ] I haven’t been this sure about someone in a long time.

[ She moves her hands up Satya's back, her hold on her tight and secure. She nuzzles her face into her neck with a soft, contented sigh. As a side note: This is shaping up the be the best vacation ever. ]

That answer your question?

[realitybendstomywill]

[She doesn’t know what makes Ashe look at her like that, but she could get lost in that fond gaze for days and never want to return. Satya lets out a quiet and happy little sound when Ashe leans in for a kiss, feeling like it’s been far too long since the last time they pressed their lips together. She thinks that gesture is an answer in itself when Ashe pulls back and actually replies, and oh, are her cheeks really becoming that warm? She can’t help it-- she has always been particularly proud of being intelligent and unique, and Ashe thinks she is both. How could she not blush upon realizing her friend has such a wonderful opinion of her?

Before she can reply, before she can even think of a reply in the first place, Ashe pulls her as close as their current position will allow, and makes it quite clear once again that, yes, she is quite certain she wants her. Satya smiles widely when Ashe leans in for a kiss, and her smile never fades, not even as her friend keeps talking and kissing her-- if anything, her smile grows even wider at all of that. When Ashe holds on tight and leans in to nuzzle against her neck, Satya moves her cybernetic hand up to Ashe’s shoulder, her other hand moving so her fingers tangle in that beautiful blonde hair. She nods quickly at her friend’s question, a quiet chuckle forming in her throat.]

Mm-hm. That answer is sufficient, yes.

[But the way the hand on Ashe’s shoulder pulls her closer makes it obvious enough that no, Ashe’s answer is a lot more than just sufficient: it is all she wanted to hear and then some, a clear sign that Ashe is in as deep as she is. Satya turns her head slightly to press a soft kiss to Ashe’s temple, her lips lingering against her skin for a moment before she brushes her mouth lightly along her earlobe.]

I want you, too, [she finally says, her words breathed out like a whisper, before she admits she has felt this way for a while.] I have wanted to say that for quite some time, but thought I would never get the opportunity to. Not without ruining what we had.

[Her cybernetic hand slides from Ashe’s shoulder to her upper back, and then down to her shoulder blade, her fingertips tracing idly along its shape. She can’t help wishing she was back to straddling Ashe’s lap, as well, but she isn’t too keen on the idea of having to pull away to do that, no matter how temporary that would be.]

It has been a very long time since I felt this way. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that I would be irresistibly drawn to such a brilliant, talented and stunning woman.

[She places a kiss against her friend's shoulder but doesn't pull away, allowing her mouth to remain pressed against Ashe's skin.]

[deadlock_diva]

[ A notable shudder passes through Ashe when Satya brushes her lips against her earlobe. And then as she breathes those words into her ear, goosebumps form down her arms, and she can almost swear she that feels the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. She chuckles breathlessly, suddenly feeling weak.

The thing is? At this point, when the doubts are gone and they’ve talked just enough, the closeness feels so right. Again, that could just be infatuation talking; Ashe did have a tendency to get too close too quickly sometimes, but... she's still willing to take that chance. Perhaps… just perhaps they can have something meaningful despite the distance and despite how different they are. It’s been a while since she’s truly believed that as well. ]

You sure have a lotta nice things to say… [ A slightly shaky breath escapes her as she presses her lips to Satya’s neck. ] Think I might could get used to that.

[ Once that thrill and suspense has worn off, Ashe is slowly beginning to realize that that weak feeling may not be entirely Satya's fault. She's absolutely exhausted and jetlagged, but not ready to turn in for night. She’ll fight it. Damnit, she will fight it hard. ]

I think it’s a good thing that you invited me over here. The both of us were strugglin’ like mad with our feelings and this was better discussed in person. I dunno how that opportunity would've arisen otherwise, had we waited too long with too much time to think about it. [ She nips at the edge of Satya’s jaw after lifting her head from her neck. ] And then... I wouldn't be here holdin' you like this. I reckon the timin' was just perfect.

[ Releasing that tight hold on her, she pulls one hand back to gently guide Satya by her cheek away from her shoulder so that she can kiss her again. Lowering that hand to rest on Satya’s thigh, she realizes all over again: Her skirt is still pulled all the way up and she’d sure like to get back to where they were earlier. Y’know… before she’s too tired to do anything more. ]

So… [ Breaking the kiss, she stays close, smirking at she presses another kiss to the corner of her mouth, her hand sliding underneath her skirt. She gives her hip a squeeze. ] Where were we?

[realitybendstomywill]

[Oh, how she loves the way Ashe shudders in response to something as simple as barely touching her earlobe with her lips. Satya is going to do that a lot more, but for now, she files the information under “things that are likely to make Ashe fall apart when used in a sequential and/or consecutive manner, repeatedly and/or one time only”. She chuckles far too breathlessly after Satya speaks, too, and that is also very rewarding, especially when the architech did not mean to breathe out those words right into her ear in the first place.

Of course, Ashe isn’t the only one who thinks that everything that is going on is wonderfully right: Satya feels the same way, and she is just as determined to make things work, despite the distance between them and the difference in their personalities. Perhaps they will fit together like puzzle pieces, forming a greater picture although they are both quite different; she doesn’t know, but she really wants to find out.]

Ah-- yes, of course I do. [It’s her turn to shiver as Ashe kisses her neck.] You are quite lucky… I have been told on several occasions that I have a way with words.

[She has a clever mouth in both senses of the word, but Satya thinks it’s probably too early into this brand new thing between them-- can she call it a relationship yet?-- to start saying fairly explicit double entendres. Satya smiles against Ashe’s shoulder at those delightful words, pressing another kiss to her skin as Ashe speaks.]

You are correct. [It’s delightful to be talking so freely about their feelings for each other, whatever those feelings might be; they don’t have to bring up specifics right now, after all. Satya hums contentedly when Ashe nips at her jaw, and by the time her friend gently guides her up for a kiss, that smile still hasn’t faded.] As for my timing being perfect… I do strive for perfection in everything I do.

[She is mostly being playful, because in this specific situation, part of her timing was a mixture of longing and sheer dumb luck. Satya is quite happy to return Ashe’s kiss, but she isn’t expecting her hand to fall on to her bare thigh, forgetting entirely that her skirt is all the way up, too. The warmth of Ashe’s hand against sensitive skin is enough to bring a quiet little sound out of her, surprised but no less happy because of that, and then that hand keeps moving up, under her skirt, and Satya’s breath catches in anticipation, only to be let out in a breathless chuckle when Ashe squeezes her hip.]

Oh. We were-- [She swallows hard, her cybernetic hand sliding down from Ashe’s right shoulder to her elbow.] From what I can recall, you were positioned quite comfortably between my legs.

[Her hand slides down to Ashe’s hand and she guides it lower, her touch gentle, wanting her to give something else a squeeze, just like she did when Satya was still on her lap, earlier. But that’s not the only thing she does: Satya seizes that kiss to her mouth for all it’s worth and darts the tip of her tongue out to tease at Ashe’s lips.]

Perhaps we should… take this elsewhere? [She bites her own lip, her cheeks flushing darker all of a sudden. She knows Ashe knows where she is getting with this, and although they were quite obviously heading in that direction anyway, she can’t help feeling oddly nervous at suggesting they should go to bed. That doesn’t stop her from going ahead and suggesting exactly that, though.] We would be far more comfortable in my bed.

[deadlock_diva]

[ Ashe is more than happy to give Satya another squeeze right where she wants her to. She loves how Satya's cheeks darken in color as she blushes. There's something awfully sweet about it, even when her suggestion is anything but. Despite everything they'd done this evening, Ashe does briefly wonder again if things are moving a bit to fast. Hence, at Satya’s question, she hums softly, taking a moment to really consider it.

Ah, what the hell? They’ve already made it this far, and Satya is right. Her bed would be a lot more comfortable. Also, the thought of curling up with her afterwards is far too enticing an offer to pass up on. Especially when she'd often caught herself thinking back to the night of their first outing. Her expression softens and she finally nods her head in response. ]

If you’re ready for that, I ain’t gonna say no. [ She winks at her, turning her head to kiss her cheek. ] Just bear with me. I ain’t been intimate with another woman before.

[ Best to get that out in the open now, right? Probably should have earlier, but she figured if they were just fooling around, there was no real need. And now here they are, half-naked and already planning on going to bed together. ]

But, I know what I like. I'm sure I can figure you out.